The Pensieve of Shame
by MatoakaWilde
Summary: Jump into the Pensieve of Shame and discover the dirty laundry hidden in the our favorite and not so favorite character's closets! If only Rita Skeeter could get her hands on this! formally titled 'What are the Harry Potter Characters Ashamed of'
1. Introduction

What the Harry Potter Characters are Ashamed of

As interpreted by MatoakaWilde

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**SHAME**

_a painful emotion caused by __**consciousness of guilt**__, shortcoming or impropriety._

--Merriam Webster Collegiate Dictionary Tenth Edition


	2. Petunia Evans Dursley

**10 Things Petunia Evans Dursley is Ashamed of:**

1. When she first saw Harry she wanted to leave him on the doorstep until he disappeared.

2. She wished Dudley had magic.

3. It felt good when Vernon said horrible things about her sister.

4. When she yelled at Harry she had a hard time looking directly at him, so she mostly made Vernon do most of it.

5. When Lily died her first thought was: Ha! Guess who's the one still standing? Not you Lils.

6. Vernon was the one who told her to go to her sister's funeral. He said if she didn't it would 'look bad'.

7. Dudley's gluttony disgusted her sometimes.

8. Before she got married she sent Lily an invitation with the wrong date and location.

9. She wished that that Snape boy had taken an interest in her.

10. She never stopped wishing she wasn't a 'muggle'.


	3. Eileen Prince Snape

**10 Things Eileen Prince Snape is Ashamed of**

1. Sometimes she put her husband's needs before her son's.

2. When Severus was just born she thought about giving him away because she was afraid she couldn't love him.

3. Her parents never acknowledged her son or husband in letters.

4. Once she slept with a man for money so she could buy Severus books for school.

5. There were a few times she thought about leaving her family.

6. She ran into the man who asked her to marry him at the end of her 7th year. She waved to him and he ignored her. He was with his wife and child, dressed in custom robes. For a moment she regretted the decision she made all those years ago.

7. Most of the time she thought she deserved to get hit.

8. She was afraid if she told her son she loved him he wouldn't believe her.

9. When Severus joined the Death Eaters she never could forgive herself.

10. She married a muggle, so in her mind she got what she deserved.


	4. Draco Malfoy

**10 Things Draco Malfoy is Ashamed of**

1. He really wanted Harry Potter to be his friend.

2. He thought Hermione Granger was a better witch then he was a wizard.

3. His mother was in his first wet dream.

4. He couldn't kill Dumbledore. Even if it meant his parents were to be killed because of it.

5. When his son was little he drew the Dark Mark on his arm so he could be 'like daddy'.

6. His father never once thanked Harry Potter, even in the confidence of his own home.

7. In his youth he was ready to kill anyone so his father would say he was proud of him.

8. Part of him was relieved when his father went to Azkaban.

9. He doesn't think his father ever hugged him until Voldemort died.

10. _Harry Potter_ saved his life.


	5. Lily Evans Potter

**10 Things Lily Evans Potter is Ashamed of**

1. She thought it was funny when James used Levicorpus on Severus.

2. Even though she hated James, sometimes he turned up in her dreams, and when she woke up she hated him even more.

3. Sometimes she wanted to lie to people about being muggle-born.

4. Whenever she found out one of her teachers were muggle-born they suddenly seemed less knowledgeable then her other teachers.

5. The afternoon she lost her virginity to James she almost called him 'Sev'. Thank Merlin she bit her lip instead.

6. She was afraid she would be a bad mother because she felt she'd failed at least two important people in her life: Petunia and Severus.

7. She was proud to have someone like James Potter on her arm when she was in wizarding communities. Her made her feel valid.

8. During the last face to face meeting she had with her sister she almost used an Unforgivable. 'Crucio' had been at the tip of her tongue when James had walked in.

9. She hadn't wanted Severus to be by himself, but she'd been too afraid to ask the Sorting Hat to put her in Slytherin.

10. She felt uncomfortable letting Peter hold her baby. She was never sure why.


	6. Sirius Black

**10 Things Sirius Black is Ashamed of**

1. There were times he had purposely tried to seduce Lily, after she was married to James.

2. He organizes people in his mind based on their blood purity.

3. He really had wanted Snape to die the night he lead him into the Shrieking Shack. He'd told James this wasn't true.

4. He thought Bellatrix was the prettiest sister, and Andromeda the least attractive.

5. He hadn't seen through Peter.

6. He would've traded Remus' life for James if he had had the option.

7. He wanted Harry to be James.

8. Part of him didn't completely think muggles were as good as those with magic.

9. No matter what, he would never apologize to Snape.

10. Sometimes he blamed Lily for James' death. If it wasn't for her and her baby he would still have his best friend.


	7. Ginny Weasley

**10 Things Ginny Weasley is Ashamed of**

1. Voldemort had used her and she had let him.

2. As a kid she'd resented Ron for his friendship with Harry.

3. Part of her was happy that she had been taken to the Chamber of Secrets. Even if both he and Harry had almost died, at least she'd gotten his attention.

4. She worked hard to get boys to notice her. Harder then she did at trying to get good marks.

5. During her youth she was almost always jealous of something.

6. When Harry began taking interest in her she didn't care if he really liked her or not.

7. She hadn't really wanted to name her eldest son 'James' but she never told Harry.

8. She didn't agree with George's marriage to Angelina. She still doesn't.

9. She was angry at her mum for not letting her kill Bellatrix.

10. Even though she said it didn't matter she hoped none of her children would be sorted into Slytherin.


	8. Severus Snape

**10 Things Severus Snape is Ashamed of**

1. When he was young he wished Lily were a pureblood.

2. Until the incident at the Shrieking Shack he'd secretly wanted to be a Marauder.

3. As a Death Eater there had been times he looked right into the eyes of victims and felt nothing. He didn't care if they lived or died. He hadn't thought it was important.

4. The person that frightened him most wasn't Dumbledore or Voldemort, but Harry Potter. He never wanted Harry to confront him about what he'd done.

5. Even after Dumbledore condemned his idea, for most of his life he'd thought the best outcome would be the death of Potter and the child.

6. He wasn't sad when James died. It was a very long time before he felt even a little guilty about this.

7. In his 4th year he'd brewed a Love Potion in the Room of Requirement and had planned to slip it into Lily's pumpkin juice, but Rosier had broken into Severus' trunk looking for money and mashed the flask into pieces. Severus never bothered making another one.

8. He thought his mother was stupid and weak for loving a muggle who beat and yelled at her.

9. No matter what the circumstance he couldn't tell Lily he loved her.

10. Once he had been foolish enough to trust Voldemort.


	9. Luna Lovegood

**10 Things Luna Lovegood is Ashamed of**

1. Her father tried to forfeit Harry, Ron, and Hermoine to the Death Eaters. She thought he was wiser then that.

2. The Sorting Hat wouldn't put her in Gryffindor (she thought it would maker her 'cool'), even though she asked it to.

3. Intially she was glad the Death Eaters broke into the Department of Mysteries. Though she knew it was irresponsible and fool-hardy to encourage Harry and the others, it was the first time she felt a part of something.

4. She often lied to her father about anything to make him feel better.

5. Sometimes she wished her father had a more respectable job.

6. For a short while she thought Harry had a crush on her. She was going to address him about it when she heard he was with Ginny. For a week after she was really depressed. She hadn't thought she had even liked him that way.

7. Sometimes Luna wished Harry and Ron would grow tired of Hermoine and ask Luna to replace her.

8. She would never tell anyone, but she did think the Hufflepuffs where genrally the daftest bunch in the whole school.

9. Her favorite subject was Arithmacy but she got a 'Poor' on her O.W.L. in it. It was the only O.W.L. she didn't pass.

10. She had never really cried over her mother's death.


	10. Bellatrix Black Lestrange

**10 Things Bellatrix Black Lestrange is Ashamed of**

1. Her sister married a mudblood. Her actual _sister_.

2. Her cousin works for Dumbledore.

3. Her only nephew is weak, pathetic, and utterly useless to The Cause.

4. She picked a husband who she thought would be perfect for everything she'd need him for. He turned out to be sterile.

5. Lucius Malfoy chose her little sister's hand in marriage over her's.

6. When Draco was born both Lucius and her Narcissa chose Snape to be the godparent over her.

7. The House of Black is quickly deteriorating into the House of Filth.

8. She has pleaded multiple times, but the Dark Lord refuses to let her have his child.

9. The Dark Lord failed more than once to kill Harry Potter.

10. The lord she serves has turned out to be a half-blood.


	11. Harry Potter

**10 Things Harry Potter is Ashamed of**

1. He had lost his faith and trust in Dumbledore.

2. He had truly believed that Snape was nothing more then evil.

3. While he was growing up he'd always imagined meeting his dad more than his mum.

4. When he found out his father wasn't the person he'd imagined him to be he was glad he would never have to meet him. He rather have the fantasy.

5. Much of his initial attraction to Ginny was because she was a Weasely. He'd always wanted to be a real part of their family.

6. He liked being a Parselmouth.

7. Sometimes he resented people for liking him or looking up to him.

8. He'd thought Dumbledore was infallible, a hero capable of anything, someone who would always save the day. He never saw him as 'just a man'. Harry hadn't at first realized how hypocritical this was.

9. Sometimes he pretends his and Ginny's wedding photo is a picture of his mum and dad.

10. He has more expectations for his son Albus Severus then any of this other children. He hadn't named him for the two people he respected most arbitarily.


	12. Nymphadora Tonks Lupin

**10 Things Nymphadora Tonks Lupin is Ashamed of**

1. She put herself in danger after Teddy was born not only because she believed what she was doing was right, but because she was scared of having to raise a child with Remus.

2. When she was twenty-one she had been attracted to a fifteen year-old boy. Thankfully Harry would never realize this.

3. Her clumsiness was oftentimes an act, or at the very least purposely exaggerated. She thought it was being 'cute', though if anyone ever suggested this she would punch them in the face.

4. Once when she made love with Remus she pretended he was Sirius.

5. She knew it hurt her mother when she insisted on being called 'Tonks'. She didn't care.

6. She favored her dad over her mum, and never tried to hide it.

7. She punished her mother for being related to the Blacks. She punished her mother for being the sister of Bellatrix. She punished her mother for being the sister-in-law of Lucius. She punished her mother for a lot of things that had nothing to do with her mother.

8. One she called Remus a 'pathetic coward who never stood up for anything' and for a brief moment she felt triumphant when she saw him start to cry.

9. Her pregnancy was in no way accidental.

10. She had to beg Remus to marry her before he said yes.


	13. Dudley Dursley

**10 Things Dudley Dursley is Ashamed of**

1. He joked about Harry's dead mum to just make his friends laugh, even though he didn't think it was funny.

2. Sometimes he was mean to Harry only because he thought he had to be. He thought Harry was 'a bad person' and that that justified the way Harry was treated. The older he got the more faith he lost in this belief.

3. He does't think his friends actually like him.

4. When he became a father he looked back and couldn't believe the things his parents put Harry through.

5. When he had to get the pig tail Hagrid had put on him removed he overheard the doctor talking to the nurse. The doctor said the tail was more fitting on him then an actual pig.

6. He missed having Harry around whenever Harry went away to Hogwarts.

7. He eats whenever he feels useless or depressed. He eats a lot.

8. He doesn't think he should've been saved by Harry from the Dementor attack. He thinks if it had been him he wouldn't have saved Harry.

9. When his mum asked him what he wanted for his birthday one year, he almost said 'to go to that school for magic kids'.

10. The person he ended up trusting the most was Harry.


	14. Lucius Malfoy

**10 Things Lucius Malfoy is Ashamed of**

1. He'd put his son in mortal danger by failing to obtain the prophecy.

2. At times he'd doubted the Dark Lord.

3. He'd thought the Dark Lord respected him.

4. His wife ignored him for weeks after he escaped from Azkaban.

5. He thinks his son hates him.

6. During the Second War Lucius wished Dumbledore were still alive so he could stop Voldemort.

7. One day he suddenly realized he was spending his life trying help someone kill a little boy. He felt stupid.

8. It was easier for him to ignore his son then pay attention to him.

9. He'd not been able to protect his son. He'd not been able to protect his wife.

10. He could never forgive Harry Potter for saving his family.


	15. James Potter

**10 Things James Potter is Ashamed of**

1. He enjoyed jinxing and hexing people who he didn't like.

2. He'd told Sirius about the first time he had sex with Lily in explicit detail, even though Lily had made him swear not to.

3. He'd realized that during his school days he'd done mean things to people 'just for fun'.

4. His best friend had tried to seriously injure someone. And even if that someone _was_ Snivellus, he did not agree with what Sirius had done.

5. He and Sirius would make fun of Remus when he wasn't around.

6. He was glad Snape was a Death Eater. Now Lily and Snivellus would never be friends again.

7. On the day of his wedding he was so terrified of getting married for a moment he wanted to call it off and run away. Remus had found him before the ceremony holding the invisibility cloak and James had immediately pretended he had never had the thought.

8. Once during their time in hiding he had called Lily 'an optimistic idiot' and slammed the bathroom door in her face, making Harry burst into tears. Then for the rest of the day he had refused to acknowledge her or Harry.

9. When Lily told him she was pregnant his very first thought was 'I don't want a kid'.

10. He had actually _thought _about making a deal with a _Death Eater_. In what would be the final weeks of his life he was feeling so desperate he thought about trying to contact Snape, who he new had been childhood friends with Lily. Perhaps Snape would show mercy, maybe he could convince Voldemort to spare her and Harry. But he quickly realized what a foolish idea that was.


	16. Hermione Granger

**10 Things that Hermione Granger is Ashamed of**

1. In 5th year, while she was waiting in Professor Vector's office to ask a few questions about an up-coming assignment, she looked at the first two pages of the Arithmacy final, which had been sitting uncovered on the professor's desk.

2. When she was a teenager she always blew up at her parents when they didn't fully appreciate the things she would tell them about the wizarding world, which was often. Because of this she went out of her way avoiding them when she was home from school, even though she knew they missed her very much.

3. When she was pregnant with her children she secretly did silly rituals that would supposedly ensure they wouldn't be squibs.

4. Her biggest fear was that she would have non-magical children, not only because they might have difficult lives, but because part of her thought they would be better, more valuable people if they had magic.

5. Between working at the Ministry and raising a family, she had become so stressed that once she almost contacted someone who sold house elves.

6. A few years after Voldemort's death, she'd run into Draco Malfoy in Flourish and Blotts. He had tried to apologize to her, exactly what about she would never know, because a fit of anger had overcome her and she'd ignored him and left the shop immediately. To this day she wishes she'd behaved differently.

7. She felt more 'at home' around Arthur and Molly then she did around her own parents.

8. The whole time at Fred's funeral all she could think and feel was, _thank god it wasn't Ron_.

9. Even into her adulthood she felt guilty about not going after Ron when he left her and Harry in the Forest of Dean during the Second War. She felt like she'd chosen Harry over Ron at that moment, and though she knew her decision had been the right one, she'd never forgiven herself for it.

10. To this day she hasn't told her parents SHE was the one who actually obliviated their memory. She always told them it had been someone from the Order.


	17. Remus Lupin

**10 things Remus Lupin is Ashamed of**

1. He repeatedly compromised his beliefs in order to keep his friends. He'd rather be untrue to himself than alone.

2. He didn't want to be a father. Even after Teddy was born.

3. No one would ever know, but he planned to kill himself on three different occasions. The first time when he was 12, the third time when he was 38.

4. He'd refused to be the Potter's secret-keeper because he thought he would be too weak to resist the possible torture that would be inflicted on him by the Death Eaters.

5. He thought James and Lily were idiots to get married so young _and_ during a time of war. He almost didn't go to the ceremony because of this.

6. He didn't have his first 'real' kiss until he was 25.

7. Upon returning to Hogwarts as a teacher and seeing Snape again after all those years, he'd thought he'd try to establish friendly relationship with the man. It ended before it began though when he accidentally called Snape 'Snivellus'. It had just slipped out. Remus never blamed Snape for hating him.

8. After Fenrir Greyback bit him his aunts wouldn't let him near his cousins and his mum wore gloves when she gave him baths.

9. In 6th year James told him that he and the other Marauders had discussed it, and that they'd always be friends with him even if he did '_like boys'_. Remus didn't think James believed him when he'd said, 'but I **don't** like boys.' Though what really killed him was the fact they had DISCUSSED it.

10. Before he and Nymph went to the battle at Hogwarts she'd said she loved him and he'd said nothing, even though he had never loved someone so much in his entire life.

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A/N- hey its the author here, just want to shamelessly plug my as canon-as-I-could-make-it story about Snape and his depressing fate. It has James, Lily, Bellatrix, Voldemort, all the usual suspects. The chapters are sort and I'm pretty fond of it (whether it's good or not) SO I think you should check it out. It's called **THE WOUND THAT WOULD NOT HEAL**, and no there is no self-harm or anything. it's a metaphor people. 


	18. Regulus Black

**10 Things Regulus Black is Ashamed of**

1. He hated his brother. He loved his brother. His brother hated him.

2. His brother had been right; about the Death Eaters, about blood purity, about their parents, about _mum_, his brother had been right about EVERYTHING.

3. He thought being a Death Eater would make his parents love him more. It did.

4. He liked girls. He really _did_. This was why it was especially troubling to him when he found himself staring at Lucius Malfoy at meetings or parties, and then feeling so _giddy _when Lucius talked to him.

5. The happiest moment of his life was when he watched his mum burn Sirius off the Black family tapestry. He'd never felt so _special_ as he did that day.

6. When he was 17 he had a serious girlfriend. She'd said she was a pureblood. It turned out she wasn't. She was actually a _mudblood_. He found this out after having already slept with her, and professing his love. He was furious. In his rage he told Lucius and Severus. He never knew who did it, but the next day he found out she was dead. He wasn't sorry.

At least not until around a year later when _he _was dying.

7. He felt he would never know what 'loyalty' was.

8. He hated his mum. After a while she'd stopped listening to him when he tried to talk to her. All she would say was "How many mudbloods have you gotten rid of? How many muggles have you killed?"

9. He believed in other people, but never in himself. He felt like he'd lived his life under a voluntary imperious curse.

10. Sirius would never know that Regulus know's he made a mistake. He is sorry.


	19. Ron Weasley

**10 Things Ron Weasley is Ashamed of**

1. He cried more at Snape's funeral then he did at Fred's.

2. Sometimes he thought George should've been the twin that died. He thought that Fred had been the stronger twin, the twin that would've been able to cope better.

3. Once he'd told Hermione he had to 'work late', but really he'd met Lavender for drinks. Nothing had happened that night, and instead of feeling relieved he'd felt disappointed.

4. Even as an adult, he is still jealous of Harry.

5. Sometimes he wished he'd sat with Seamus instead of Harry on that first train to Hogwarts.

6. Hermione had really wanted a third child but Ron had been adamantly against it, even going so far as once yelling at her about it in front of her parents. Two kids were enough. Unlike _his _parents, he was never going to '_have more children then he could afford_'.

7. During his school days he'd sometimes wished he was Malfoy, the only child of wealthy parents…it seemed so…_perfect_.

8. He never invites George to his house. He can't stand being around him. Hermione is always the one who asks Angelina and the family over for dinner.

9. Once he yelled at George and told him 'It's been over eight years! Just get bloody _over it _already!'

10. He'd walked out on Hermione and Harry in the middle of a war. He'd left when they'd needed his support more then ever. And if he had the chance he'd probably do it again. He thinks he doesn't deserve them. He thinks maybe he shouldn't have been in Gryffindor. He thinks maybe he's just like Pettigrew. After all, Peter had been _his _rat.


	20. Narcissa Black Malfoy

**10 Things Narcissa Black Malfoy is Ashamed of**

1. She knew Lucius had affairs. She knew he sometimes used their bed. And all she ever did was smile at him and say, "_Would you like another drink darling_?"

2. When the Ministry released Bellatrix's body to her for burial purposes, the first thing she did was spit on her dead sister's face.

3. It sexually aroused her when Lucius threatened her with violence.

4. She'd always liked Ted Tonks.

5. For years after the Second War she would send a gift every Christmas to Teddy Lupin, who lived with her sister Andromeda. She never sent Andromeda anything, not even a card.

6. When Lucius broke out of Azkaban and returned to the Manor, all Narcissa said to him was, "You care more about _killing_ Harry Potter than keeping our_ son_ alive. I can't even look at you. Get away from me." He didn't get angry, all he had done was look at her and leave the room. Later she'd seen him sitting in a hallway staring at the wall with bloodshot eyes. She hadn't comforted him. She had just ignored him, happy he was suffering.

7. Seven years after Voldemort's death, she met her sister Andromeda at a café in Diagon Alley. Neither had seen the other since their youth. They'd silently sipped tea until Narcissa had begun crying. And _Andromeda_ was the one who ended up apologizing. Because Narcissa couldn't.

8. She enjoyed watching Lucius intimidate and frighten the wait-staff and maître d''s at restaurants so she could get any table she wanted or any food she desired.

9. She would sacrifice her husband for her son if she had to.

10. She loved Lucius. But she hoped Draco wouldn't be anything like him.


	21. Vernon Dursley

**10 Things Vernon Dursley is Ashamed of**

1. He married a woman with an appalling background.

2. His son rejected the very respectable position he'd gotten for him at Grunnings is favor of going to university and majoring in, of all things, _literature_.

3. Harry has more money than he does.

4. His nephew is 'abnormal'.

5. In private his sister refers to Petunia as a 'distasteful creature' and he never steps up to his wife's defense, even though he wants to.

6. He still turns red with embarrassment when he remembers the time dragged his wife and son to that horrid island in an attempt to run away from those bothersome letters.

7. Once when he stumbled upon a picture of his wife and her sister as teenagers and he thought 'Hmm, looks like I didn't get the prettier of the two'.

8. When Harry was five years old he had without thinking yelled at Dudley's friends for pushing Harry off of the top of the jungle gym. Dudley's friends had started crying and said they would never play with Dudley again. Then Dudley had started crying. Harry had just started at Vernon, not even a scratch on him.

9. Sometimes he'd wanted to ask Harry to demonstrate for him some of his abnormal abilities. As much as he loathed admitting it, he was slightly curious about what sort of nonsense his nephew could do.

10. Vernon thought if Dudley turned out to be a freak like his cousin Harry, he wouldn't be able to love him anymore. He was never more relieved then he was the day Harry got that blasted letter, because Dudley _didn't_.


	22. Cho Chang

**10 Things Cho Chang is Ashamed of**

1. She started dating Harry not even a year after Cedric's death. She always wondered if that meant she hadn't ever really loved Cedric.

2. She knew it wasn't Harry's fault that Cedric died, but she blamed him anyway.

3. After leaving Hogwarts, she frequently questioned Lavender (who always knew everything about everybody) about how Harry and Ginny were doing. She'd always hoped Lavender would say, "Oh not very well, I think they're on the rocks."

4. Throughout the Triwizard Tournament she'd secretly pulled for Harry to win, and had lied to Cedric when she said, "When I'm in the stands you're all I see."

5. She interviewed and got a job at the Ministry just so she could 'run into' Harry every once and a while.

6. She'd only started being nice and talking to Luna after she found out Luna and Harry were friends.

7. When her son Cedric got sorted into Gryffindor, she would write to him every few days, mostly to see how James, Harry's son, was doing.

8. In the bedroom she liked to role play that she had been imprisoned by Voldemort, and that her husband had just saved her from certain death.

9. At Cedric's funeral Mrs. Diggory had asked her if Cedric had ever given her a gold necklace with a pendent of a sun. Mrs. Diggory had said it was a one of a kind heirloom that had been passed down throughout generations. Cho had said she'd never seen anything like that before, even though underneath her mourning robes it hung around her neck, the metal strangely warming her skin.

10. During the reception at Harry's wedding she'd gotten really drunk. After having raked her nails across the side of her then boyfriends' face, she'd broken up with him in the girl's bathroom while everyone else ate cake and danced.

A few years later _he_ asked _her _to marry him. She figured he really must've loved her to come back for round two.


	23. Neville Longbottom

**10 Things Neville Longbottom is Ashamed of**

1. Sometimes _he_ thought he should've been 'The Boy Who Lived'.

2. He wished the healers at St. Mungo's would just let his parents die. He loved them, but he thought their lives were now just cruel shadows mocking who they _used _to be.

3. During his 2nd year he'd wished people thought _he_ was the Heir of Slytherin. Then maybe he wouldn't get jinxed in the hallways so much.

4. He _hated_ visiting his parents.

5. Gran hadn't believed him when he'd told her his Hogwarts' letter had arrived. "Are you _sure_?" she'd asked.

6. One time in 4th year he almost _cried_ in the middle of a Defense Against the Dark Arts class…and he was supposed to be in Gryffindor?

7. He'd tried to make moves on Ginny during 7th year when she'd been worried about Harry and had come to Neville for comfort.

8. He wouldn't marry Hannah until Ginny was married and thus, removing herself as a possibility in Neville's mind.

9. The whole time he was at Hogwarts he'd always hoped Harry and Ron would have that 'final falling out' so that he could usurp Ron's position as 'Harry Potter's Best Friend'.

10. When the Dailey Prophet reduced his slaying of Nagini to barely a sentence fragment at the end of a two sentence paragraph, he'd gotten so angry he'd set one of his most beloved plants on fire.


	24. George Weasley

**10 Things George Weasley is Ashamed of**

1. In third year he'd had a huge crush on the head girl, a Ravenclaw. In an effort to 'look good' in her eyes he'd snitched on Fred, telling her that it had been Fred who'd jinxed all the prefects' toilets to back up. On the way to his first detention Fred had said, "I wonder who was the stupid prat who told."

2. He'd only gotten three O.W.L.S. _Ron _had gotten seven. Sure, he'd hated school and hadn't cared about stupid tests, but he knew he was smarter then Ron. In his mind he'd blamed his poor marks on Fred.

3.Sometimes he had dreams where a rock wall was about to fall on him, and right as it does, he grabs Fred and throws Fred in front of him, using Fred as a shield. In the end he always has blood on his hands. _Fred's _blood.

4. Every time Percy and his family are around he thinks, _You shouldn't be here. Fred should. Fred and __his__ family._

5. Part of him hoped if he named his son 'Fred' his brother would come back to life. He knew it wasn't fair to his son or his wife to be disappointed when this didn't happen. But he was anyway.

6. On a subconscious level he resents all his siblings. When hints of this resentment brake into his consciousness, he shoves them back down.

7. He almost sold Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, but Percy had marched into the meeting and stopped him, taking the quill out of his hand and saying, "Will you excuse my brother? An important owl has just arrived for him."

8. Before Fred's death had become widely known, people would still run into him and mistake him for Fred. He'd never corrected them, and a few times went so far as to _introduce_ himself as 'Fred'. Though he'd soon stopped when eventually someone replied "Oh! I thought you were dead!"

9. When no one is around he talks to Fred, on April 1st he sings 'Happy Birthday' to Fred, and sometimes when he makes love to Angelina, he pretends he is Fred.

10. Once he overheard his daughter Roxanne talking to one of her friends. Her friend had said, "My dad's so boring; he's a muggle plumber. It's so cool your dad owns those joke shops. He must always be doing something funny." And then he'd heard his daughter answer:

"No, not really. I've never even seen him laugh."


	25. Fred Weasley

**10 Things Fred Weasley is Ashamed of**

1. When he was 12 he'd crushed Ron's pet puffskein, Quincy, to death after he'd snatched it from Ron and used it as a bludger. He'd told his mum he hadn't meant to hurt it, but that hadn't been completely true.

2. He used to wish Percy wasn't a part of the family and hoped one day Percy would just disappear.

When that day came Fred had never felt so guilty in his life.

3. When he was little, about four or five, he'd told his mum he was going to marry George when he grew up because, 'you're sup'osed to marry someone you love, an' I love George.' And Molly will tell anyone she can this, not least of all Angelina.

4. _George_ was the one who answered their mum's letters (for the _both_ of them), and _George_ was the one who suggested they give the Marauder's Map to Harry, and _George_ was the one who told Fred to be nicer to Ron and to give Percy more of a chance. After a while, Fred could not help thinking that George was the 'better version' of him.

5. The Sorting Hat had told him that he had the bravery and courage of a true Gryffindor. But it had also told him he had the cunning and narcissism of a true Slytherin.

6. He was glad people said 'Fred and George' and _not_ 'George and Fred'.

7. He knew he could get George to do just about anything with him, whether George really wanted to or not, and sometimes Fred took advantage of this.

8. He'd imagined George dying more than he'd imagined himself dying.

9. Every now and then he would do something to sabotage George when George went on the occasional date, because Fred didn't want George needing someone more then Fred needed him.

10. He hoped that there would never be a time when he'd have to choose between saving himself and saving George, because as much as it sickened him to admit it, he didn't know which he would do.


	26. Cedric Diggory

**10 Things Cedric Diggory is Ashamed of**

1. Even though he'd told the people in his House to stop wearing the '_Potter Stinks_' badges, he was happy most people around school kept wearing them.

2. He'd stolen a necklace from his mother's jewelry box, a necklace which had been passed down in his family for at least nine generations, and had given it to Cho, his girlfriend. He told himself that what he'd done hadn't really been_ wrong_ because one day he would marry Cho.

3. Ever since he was little, he'd loved to bite his fingernails off and eat them, and sometimes he would close his bed curtains so he could eat his fingernails in private.

4. For the longest time he thought Harry Potter was just a silly little boy who wanted attention.

5. Once when he'd been doing schoolwork with Cho in the library he'd looked through her bag while she went off to find a book. He'd come across her diary and had been about to read it (just to see if she mentioned him) but before he'd gotten the chance, he'd noticed her coming back, and he'd had just enough time to return her bag to its original state.

6. For some reason he was not aware of, nothing turned him on more then the voice of Celestina Warbeck. This was the main reason he hated listening to Christmas music at family holiday parties.

7. He hadn't wanted to tell Harry about the egg clue, but Cho had made him, saying 'It would be the fair thing to do.' And for the first time in his life he hadn't wanted to be '_fair_'.

8. He'd pressured Cho into losing her virginity and he hadn't felt guilty about it until after the fact.

9. He wanted Harry to look up to him, and was dismayed when instead he found himself looking up to Harry.

10. When Dumbledore pulled his name out of the Goblet of Fire, instead of feeling excitement, the first thing he'd felt was fear. And throughout the competition the fear never went away no matter what he did. Everyday he thought '_I wish I hadn't put my name in, I wish I hadn't signed up to be chosen._'

The only person he'd ever admitted his to was Cho, who he made swear to never tell.


	27. Romilda Vane

**10 Things Romilda Vane is Ashamed of**

1. She and her friends had all planned to give Harry love potions to see who's would be the strongest (and thus who would end up getting to be his date for Slughorn's Christmas party). But after she'd told her friends she'd given Harry spiked chocolate cauldrons, they'd all laughed at her and told her they couldn't believe she'd actually _done_ it, because none of them had really been serious about the whole thing.

2. Underneath her mattress she'd kept rolls of parchment covered in sketches of Harry and she'd drawn while watching him study in the common room.

3. She'd snogged Seamus on multiple occasions so she could gain access to the 6th year's boy dormitory and see where Harry slept first-hand.

4. When she was 18 she'd been accepted into the much sought after Dragon Breeding and Care program at the very famous dragon reserve in Romania (something she'd always dreamed of) but instead she'd applied and enrolled in the Ministry's auror training school. So she could be with Harry.

5. Once in the Great Hall she'd caught Zacharias Smith starring at her butt crack when she'd bent over to pick up some gobstones that had fallen out of her bag. When she glared at him all he did was laugh and say 'I just wanted to see what I've heard so much about.'

6. During the Death Eater's reign at Hogwarts she'd asked Ginny if she could join the D.A. and Ginny had only smirked and told her that no matter the rumors she'd heard, Harry had not shown up to a single meeting that year. And then she'd walked away and dismissed Romilda before Romilda could tell her that this time it wasn't about Harry.

But even she'd had her doubts about that.

7. In the third floor boy's lavatory someone had written '_You don't need to be a parselmouth to slytherin Romilda's chamber of secrets…just say you know one!_'

8. She'd been so jealous of Ginny's relationship with Harry that during the second war there had been times she'd thought, 'If Harry dies...well then neither of us can have him…'

9. Sometimes she wished all the rumors at school had been true…she'd been a virgin until the age of 23.

10. As an auror she had gotten to know Harry quite well, as he was head of the Auror Department. It was only then that she realized she wasn't in love with him and actually never really had been.

And she had never cried harder over any other loss.


	28. Tobias Snape

**10 Things Tobias Snape is Ashamed of**

1. He is afraid of his own son. So sometimes he hits Severus.

2. Once he found his wife's wand at the bottom of her underwear drawer. And when he'd imitated the why she would flourished it while saying those strange words he sometimes heard her say, nothing had happened. And he'd cried.

3. By the time he was 10 he'd memorized the entire periodic table, and when he was 16 he was given an award for being at the top of his year in science. But his father had never even finished school and his mother was convinced that apples had special scientific properties after Tobias once tried to explain how Newton discovered gravity.

4. When he was sure nobody was around, he listened to _The Supremes'_ records he'd stolen, because he couldn't bring himself to buy them.

5. He'd applied to Oxford and Cambridge and hadn't bothered applying anywhere else because his ego had assured him he didn't _need _to. And when both universities turned him down, he resigned himself to an entry-level job at the factory where his father worked.

6. He drank because emptying a bottle of whiskey was easier then going back and trying again.

7. When Eileen told him she was pregnant for the second time, he'd been piss drunk and he'd yelled at her to get an abortion. So she had.

8. The only time he'd met his in-laws, they'd told him he was 'mud-veined muggle who was raping their daughter' and they wouldn't allow him past the front door. He never forgot those words, even though he didn't fully understand them until much later.

9. He'd walked out on Eileen for a total of seven days when he learned the significance of what her parents had said to him. He'd been afraid she was using him, for what he didn't know, though he hadn't trusted that she loved him.

10. When he was younger he'd idolized Marie Curie. When he was older he'd married the first woman who'd reminded him of her. When he was much older he regarded this decision as the reason his life hadn't turned out the way he'd wanted it to. So he abused _her_ instead of himself. He beat _her_ instead of himself. He punished _her_ instead of himself.

Because he didn't want to be alone in his misery.

* * *

**_XXXXXXXX_**

* * *

_A/N: if you liked this Tobias sketch, put me on your alerts, cause I have something Tobias-themed planned, and it would be A SHAME for you to miss it._


	29. Peter Pettigrew

**10 Things Peter Pettigrew is Ashamed of**

1. The only thing that motivates him is greed.

2. He'd delighted in Lily's constant rejection of James. He would always encourage James to approach Lily, just so he could watch him fail. He told himself the only reason he did it because it was good for James to see that he couldn't always get what he wanted.

3. There wasn't a person or thing he wasn't jealous of. He even found something to envy in Moaning Myrtle.

4. His enjoyed the time he spent living as a rat more than the time he spent living as a human. He wished he hadn't ever had to change back.

5. He'd traded the life of his only real friend for the promise of power, because he thought James had owed it to him.

6. He'd had such social anxiety in school, that when he was actually called on in class to demonstrate his competence, his nerves always got the best of him and he ended up looking like an idiot. It wasn't long before professors and students alike just figured that he must be.

7. He'd wanted James to give him the importance that he gave to Sirius. He'd wanted James to give him the importance that he gave to _Lily_.

8. He was addicted to power. He needed to feel it, he needed to taste it, and he needed to be around it. He'd betray his friends for it, kill children for it, and even give his own right hand for it. He kept telling himself 'this is all I need, after this I'll stop.' But he never stopped, he was never full. Instead he felt more and more empty, and he watched his reflection decay before his eyes.

9. He can't kill himself. Even after all he's done he still wants to live. This is what sickens him the most.

10. He'd become an animagus a few weeks before Sirius and James had, and when they'd seen that he'd become a rat they'd practically doubled over in laughter. They'd kept saying 'Sorry, mate, sorry' but Peter didn't think they were sorry at all. He'd hoped when they became animagi they would get lame animals too, so at least he could return the laughter. Instead, when the time came, Sirius transformed into a black dog and James into a stag. And once more Sirius and James laughed at him while this time they'd said, 'Hey Pete, when we run with Moony you better watch out or _we_ might trample _you_ to bits!"

But Peter hadn't thought they respected how agile a rat really was.


	30. Hannah Abbott

**10 Things Hannah Abbott is Ashamed of**

1. Some people like Zacharias, could barely look over the material and get 100's on their tests, whereas she would study until her eyes hurt and still she'd be _lucky _if she got at least half the questions right.

2. She'd once heard her dad say, '_pretty girls don't have to be smart_'. But she'd seen enough pretty girls to know she wasn't one of them.

3. She'd proudly wore her 'support Cedric' badge and had had a tendency to stick out her chest whenever he was around, so he could see how much she supported him. But she'd stopped doing this after she'd seen some of Cedric's friends snickering amongst themselves and imitating with their chests, what they called 'the Abbott'. Later that day she threw out her _Support Cedric!_ badge with her Chocolate Frog wrappers.

4. Her mum's side of the family was mostly muggle, and after more than a few failed tests and more than a few bad marks, Hannah thought maybe she wasn't magic enough after all. Maybe one day she'd be called to Dumbledore's office and hear the truth: '_It turns out we made a mistake Ms. Abbott. It turns out you're just not good enough_'.

5. Before she went to Hogwarts, she'd begged her mum and dad to get a house-elf, not because she didn't want to have to clean her room or do the dishes, but because she'd wanted to have a friend.

6. She'd joined Dumbledore's Army out of guilt, not bravery. She'd still felt bad for believing Harry had been the Heir of Slytherin and for wearing a 'Potter Stinks' badge. And every time she met with the D.A. and practiced in that strange room all she'd think was 'This is silly, I'm _never _going to have to do this.'

7. When her mum died she ignored all the letters her friends wrote to her because every letter she started to write to them sounded angry, because she _was_ angry. She was angry Harry Potter hadn't been there to save her mum. And she was angry that her dad hadn't been able to.

8. Right before the Yule Ball her mum had sent her fancy blue silk robes with gems stitched all along the edges. And when Hannah tried them on and asked Susan how they looked on her the first thing Susan said was, "A little tight."

9. Whenever she came back home for the holidays, or for the summer, different family members would always ask, '_Are you seeing any nice boys Hannah?_' And just once she'd wished she could say '_yes_'.

10. Ernie had been her best friend since she was eleven. She'd shared more of herself with him than she had with anyone else. So when he told her after the Battle of Hogwarts that he'd always loved her and wanted to be her boyfriend, she'd said yes, not because she felt the same way, but because she didn't want to hurt his feelings. For almost four years she didn't want to hurt his feelings, until she decided to stop ignoring her own.

The day she left him for Neville was the day that he'd asked her, "Will you marry me?" And she'd said, "No."

She still feels guilty about not regretting it.


	31. Angelina Johnson

**10 Things Angelina Johnson is Ashamed of**

1. She'd _thought_ she'd be a better captain than Oliver had been; she _thought_ she'd lead the Gryffindor team through a season of undefeated victory. She'd thought wrong. 

2. After the Triwizard cup had rejected her bid as the Hogwarts Champion, she'd watched every task imaging herself doing what Cedric or Harry did (only better) and all the while she'd thought '_that should be me_'. But when she saw Harry next to Cedric's dead body, she'd thought, '_better him than me_'. 

3. She had a tendency to think less of those who seemed to possess no outstanding talents, and so she was always fearful of others discovering her own mediocrity.

4. Halfway through her first year she'd heard some girls talking about her from behind a bookshelf: "_She's so rough! And stuck-up! She thinks she's better then all of us, which is funny because no one likes her. Well, those Weasley twins do, but they probably think she's a boy. I mean have you seen her hair?_" 

5. Even though there wasn't any other name she would've given her son, she can't call him 'Fred'. Instead she calls him 'Freddie'. 

6. When she was a little girl she'd dreamed of having a big elaborate wedding. But she ended up saying her vows in a grimy office at the Ministry. George said he liked the idea—avoiding the fuss of a big party. But the only reason Angelina agreed to it was because she was afraid if she planned a real wedding only half of the groom's family would show up.

7. The last time she saw Fred alive he'd called, "_Oi, love! How about a kiss? For good luck, eh?_" And she'd replied that this was NOT the time; Death Eaters were everywhere, and that kisses could wait. Though as she was to find out, luck would not. 

8. Sometimes George would sit staring at the same page of the newspaper for hours. Sometimes he would stay in bed for days. Sometimes he wouldn't come home at night because he'd passed out at some pub. Sometimes she thought she should take the children and leave.

9. It wasn't until she'd been married to George for five years that Molly Weasley finally greeted her with a hug whenever she came over instead of a brief smile and a handshake. 

10. At first she told herself the only reason she was sleeping over at George's flat four days of the week was because she was worried about him. Then she told herself the only reason she was sleeping _with_ George four days of the week was because they were just acting upon some sort of a coping mechanism and nothing else. When a year had passed she told herself the only reason she was living with George was because no one understood him like she did, and if she left, who would take her place?

And after she and George had their first child, she looked straight into the mirror and said aloud, "_I'm sorry Fred, but I'm not sorry anymore._"


	32. Andromeda Black Tonks

**1****0 Things Andromeda Black Tonks is Ashamed of**

1. As children, she and Bellatrix had always ganged up on Narcissa, stealing her sweets, or pretending to 'loose' her in Diagon Alley. She'd never thought much of it until she'd tried to sneak back home to pick up a few things she'd left. When she'd tried to open the door that day, it was Bellatrix and _Narcissa_ who wouldn't let her in.

2. Her parents had loved her _conditionally_.

3. When she found out her daughter was both in love with _and_ hoping to marry a werewolf, she heard herself saying things she'd swore she'd never say. Until that moment she'd been so sure she wasn't anything like _her_ mother.

4. For her it had been an easy decision: marry Ted and be disowned by her family, or not marry Ted and remain a part of her family. Sometimes it scared her just how easy a decision it had been.

5. During one Christmas dinner, her daughter, then only 13 years old, had made a very crass remark about '_her Auntie Bellatrix and those lovely Dementors_'. And before Andromeda knew it, right in front of Ted's family, she smacked her daughter so hard across the face that one of the rings she was wearing cut her daughter's cheek.

6. Sometimes she wondered if, at the age of 18, whether she'd hated her family more than she'd loved Ted.

7. Although she despised her older sister, when she went to Bellatrix's funeral she felt immense regret and sorrow for the dead body before her. Yet she did not even look at the sister she still had left, who was alive, and sitting right behind her.

8. There were times, when her daughter hurt her with thoughtless words, or when her husband irritated her with his easy-coming complacency, that she thought her life was just one giant mistake.

9. When she finally reconnected with her younger sister she hadn't been able to stop apologizing and Narcissa hadn't been able to stop crying. Narcissa had kept saying, '_I shouldn't have left you._' and inside Andromeda couldn't stop thinking the same thing.

10. As a mum she'd rarely changed a diaper and had cringed at the thought of breast-feeding. When Nymphadora had cried into the night she'd always let Ted deal with it, and when Nymphadora had wanted to play make believe, or be read to before bed, she knew to ask Ted instead of Andromeda. And what sort of mum wouldn't congratulate their daughter for making their House Quidditch team because they didn't think '_girls should concentrate on such things_'?

Andromeda knew it was too late to make these things up to her daughter, as Nymphadora was no longer a child, or alive. So when she found another baby in her arms, her grandson, her _daughter'_s son, she pledged that she would not make the same mistakes twice.


	33. Theodore Nott

**10 Things Theodore Nott is Ashamed of   
**

1. He's never had a birthday party.

2. The underlying reason he doesn't want any friends is because he feels that he's never done anything to earn them.

3. He has a habit of picking at the skin around his nails to the point where his fingers bleed. Once one of his professors commented on a small bloodstain left on one of his assignments: '_What's this? Clean parchment next time please, Mr. Nott._'

4. He is terrified of dancing. He'd skipped the dance practice McGonagall had scheduled in preparation for the Yule Ball, and when the Yule Ball came around he'd hid in library stacks until Pince had kicked him out.

5. He doesn't understand why his peers tell each other that they will miss the other over the summer when they know they will all be back together in less than three months. He doesn't understand the point of dating or why anyone would want a boy or girlfriend. There are many things he doesn't understand about people. He supposes there must be an important piece missing from him.

6. When he was around nine his father had made Draco's father force Draco into spending a week-end with him. The first thing Draco said after Theodore had shown him his shrunken head collection was '_so, are you really as lonely and pathetic as everyone says you are?_'

7. He thinks his father is a fool for associating with the Dark Lord. Theodore tells himself he doesn't care if his father ends up getting killed, because his father should've know better.

8. He fantasizes about becoming a wolf Animagus and living among wolves, maybe having a wolf family, because he doesn't think he makes a good human.

9. When he took the witness stand at the Wizengamot to plead that his father be spared life in Azkaban, he ended up crying so hard he almost threw up.

10. He'd hated his mother. She was the reason the kitchen had always stunk of medicinal potions, and because of her he'd always gotten yelled at to keep quiet. And whenever she would promise to play with him, he'd always find her asleep…like the afternoon he'd went into her room to show her the pictures in his new book. She'd been asleep as usual. And as he'd watched her, he all he'd thought about was what would happen if he covered her head with a pillow.

He can't remember how long he'd been sitting there, staring at her, before one of the machines had started to ring, and the in-home-healer rushed in. But he remembers having been very calm when a few minuets later he heard the healer pronounce his mother dead. He told himself it was only because he'd been five, and maybe if he'd be older he would've been more upset.


	34. Bill Weasley

**10 Things Bill Weasley is Ashamed of  
**

1. Even to this day he maintains resentment towards anything Brazilian because of the unfortunately unkind Brazilian pen-friend he'd had as a kid.

2. Originally Gringotts had offered him a London-based job in their Goblin Resources Department. But desperate to get away from the beck and call of his family, he'd petitioned for the position of code breaker at their Egyptian office. When he told his mum about having to move away he'd said, "_I wish they'd offered me something a little closer to home._"

3. He'd graciously accepted anyone who wished to stay at Shell Cottage during the war, because that way he was able to contribute to the resistance without having to get involved in the fight. Bill wanted to avoid fighting; he wanted to avoid death. He didn't want to leave Fleur by herself. She was more important to him then a hundred lives.

4. Fleur didn't knit. She ate unbuttered toast. She thought English cuisine was an oxymoron. She despised Celestina Warbeck. And Bill knew nothing would get his mum in more of a tizzy than if her son were to date a girl like her. So he had.

5. He'd seen his own darkest desires played out in Percy's renouncement of their family. Part of him had been jealous of how easy leaving them had seemed for Percy to do.

6. For a long time he wouldn't go to France to visit Fleur's family during the holidays because he refused to leave his mum at such a hard time…even if it meant that his wife and children ate Christmas dinner without him.

7. He felt he spent more time worrying about his parents and siblings than he spent taking care of his wife and children.

8. He fed off the feeling of importance that helping others gave him.

9. The most intense hate he'd ever felt had been for his brother, Fred, who had died, and had left in his wake a broken twin that Bill couldn't fix and a wounded mum that Bill couldn't heal. '_Fuck you Fred._' Bill always said whenever he felt the tears start, '_Fuck you._'

10. Once Ron and had all but fallen to his knees in thanks in front of Bill, babbling almost incoherently about the time Bill had taken him in after he'd abandoned his friends. He'd told Bill that no one else would've been so kind. He told Bill that he would never forget it.

But Bill hoped he would. If it had been up to Bill, he would've forced Ron to go back and find his friends immediately, because Bill could tolerate a lot, but he could not tolerate such an abdication of responsibility. And if Fleur hadn't pulled him aside and insisted he be more '_raisonnable_', Ron would not have stayed long enough to finish a glass of water. Fleur had been the one who'd shown true kindness. Not him.

But Bill never told Ron that.


	35. Parvati Patil

**10 Things Parvati Patil is Ashamed of  
**

1. She would constantly berate herself, but it was to no avail, she always looked forward to seeing Firenze with such a giddy excitement that it could only be fueled by lust. She hoped centaurs couldn't read minds.

2. She enjoyed gossiping about other people's problems because she'd rather not think about her own.

3. Excluding Hermione from her and Lavender's friendship hadn't begun as a conscious decision, but it hadn't taken Parvati long to make it one.

4. While they employed different words and phrases, people often told her, "You might look the same, but you are not as clever as your sister is."

5. After the Yule Ball she'd told everyone about the gorgeous _older _boy from Beauxbatons who danced with her all night. When he'd asked her to meet him at the Three Broomsticks at the next Hogsmeade outing, she'd told everyone that too. But only Lavender knew that he'd never shown up.

6. It obvious to Parvati that Lavender had to be at least 4 kilos heavier than she was, and she couldn't help but feel a little superior because of this. Whenever Lavender asked her if she should have dessert, Parvati always answered '_yes_'.

7. Not even Lavender knew that Parvati feared mummies more than anything because unlike ghosts who retained the appearance of their former selves in death, mummies were people forever condemned to look old and rotted and hideous in front of all who saw them, having only their stained bandages to hide behind. Even when faced with the prospect of death, Parvati worried about her looks.

8. Her father babied her while he engaged in political conversations with Padma. Her mother sent her subscriptions to fashion magazines, but Padma got leather-bound volumes of literature. Parvati felt like she was constantly being taunted, "_You're not a Ravenclaw like us._"

9. When her parents had come to Hogwarts during her sixth year in an attempt to try and pull her and her sister out, because of what her father had called, "_unsafe circumstances_", Parvati had told them that she'd rather die at Hogwarts than be dragged home to be imprisoned by _them_. She'd said it because no matter what she felt she _had _to stay. She'd said it because it had been a perfect opportunity to hurt them.

10. Twins were supposed to best friends, eternal allies, experts on one another. But she hadn't felt close to Padma since they'd been six years old. She was sixteen now, and even though she and Padma inhabited the same school and ate in the same room at about the same time everyday, she hardly saw Padma at all. And when she did see her, she saw a quasi-stranger; someone who was ill defined though vaguely familiar. She wondered why neither of them tried to bridge the gap that had grown over the years.

Her sister was an enigma to her, one that Parvati wasn't sure she wanted to understand.


	36. Katie Bell

**10 Things Katie Bell is Ashamed of  
**

1. She'd never sat for her N.E.W.T.S. The idea of returning to Hogwarts after all that had happened was too overwhelming. Luckily for her though, whether or not she made the reserve team for the Appleby Arrows had nothing to do with test scores.

2. To this day she hasn't gone into the Three Broomsticks since her 'accident'.

3. Once during the middle of a Quidditch match she'd suddenly wondered if it was possible to have sex on a broom and not fall off, and she'd been so distracted by the thought that when Alicia had passed her the quaffle she'd missed it, earning her a look of supreme disappointment from Oliver.

4. At the Yule Ball she'd been too depressed to have a good time. The only girl on the Gryffindor Quidditch team without a date, she'd glowered at the dance-floor from her table and had hardly paid attention to the Weird Sisters, her favorite band, all because Oliver was all over some girl from Beauxbatons, or more importantly some girl that wasn't her.

5. Once her mum had asked her if she remembered being put under the Imperious curse or touching the necklace. She had told her mum no, that all she could summon up was a black void. While this was not true, something within her couldn't let anyone know that, not even her mum.

6. The post accident Katie never went without her wand and constantly thought about defensive spells she could use should she ever run into Dark magic again. Sometimes she would go out trying to find trouble, just so she could prove to herself that she would be all right.

7. On her and Oliver's first date she mistook a man walking toward them for Malfoy and had immediately jumped and hid behind Oliver. Confused he'd asked her what she was doing, but she couldn't answer because even she didn't know herself.

8. She was a well-adjusted adult. So why did she still think about paying Malfoy back for what he did to her?

9. Sometimes she wished that the curse had left a hideous scar, because then people would know from the beginning that something bad had happened to her, instead of suddenly giving her looks of sympathy after they'd found out later.

10. She would've had to return to the Death Eater run Hogwarts the year after her 'accident', but because of her injury she'd been exempt from having to go by St. Mungo's. And while she ate her home-cooked meals and played Exploding Snap, her friends wrote her letters about witnessing torture first hand, sometimes even receiving it.

The reason she ran from her house to join the battle as soon as she'd gotten word that Hogwarts was being attacked wasn't because she wanted to fight Death Eaters, but because she wanted to fight herself.


	37. Zacharias Smith

**10 Things Zacharias Smith is Ashamed of  
**

1. He wasn't popular. In fact one of the few things most of his peers had in common was their mutual dislike of him.

2. At the end of seven years of school he'd managed to probably be one of the first Hufflepuffs in history to destroy any loyalty his house-mates had for him.

3. He'd never had any feeling of belonging to anyone, anyplace, or anything. Not at home, not at school. Every year he grew more and more frustrated.

4. No one at school knew when his birthday was. No one had ever asked and he felt he had no one to tell. So every year on this birthday no one says anything to him and the only thing he gets is a parcel from his mum.

5. When he was little he'd been excited about going to Hogwarts. His parents had told him that for generations both sides of this family had been in the great House of Hufflepuff, and his great-aunt Hephzibah could even trace her linage back to the Houses' founder. Zacharias had been very proud, until one day he'd heard someone say, "_Imagine being in Hufflepuff, I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?_"

6. He was a top student and he was a fairly good Quidditch player. He was from a wealthy pureblood family and he wasn't ugly. But people only noticed him when he was mean. So Zacharias didn't see the point in being nice.

7. In the weeks following the final battle, when the _Daily Prophet_ was more like a giant obituary section than an actual newspaper, Zacharias had had the sudden realization that had he been one of the people that had died, no one probably would've come to _his_ funeral. This was one of the reasons why _he_ didn't go to a single funeral.

8. He hadn't been able to produce a lasting full body patronus until he was 38, when his daughter was born. And it was a good thing he finally could too, because he wouldn't see her much in person after that.

9. For some reason he'd always felt triumphant when he was able to make the only woman that had ever told him she loved him cry. Though when she'd finally stopped saying those words, leaving soon after, he'd felt he'd finally completely defeated himself, and he'd be alone forever.

10. He'd tried to be cool, but no one admired him. He'd tried to be bad, but he was afraid of the dark. He'd tried to be good, but he didn't have enough faith. Ernie and Cedric were the people the other Hufflepuffs gravitated to. Draco was the one who called people 'Mudbloods' and could sneer at others' suffering. And everyone who'd been in the D.A. had stayed and fought with Harry, except for him.

He wasn't the coolest, or the most bad, or the most good. He was a little of everything, but not enough of any one thing to be anything other than ordinary. He was the most ordinary of them all.

He was a Hufflepuff.


	38. Padma Patil

**10 Things Padma Patil is Ashamed of**

1. One of her earliest memories was from the age of three, when her sister had come into contact with a wasps' nest during a picnic. Though she'd been worried for Parvati (who'd sustained quite a large amount of stings to the face) part of her had felt a little pleased that at least for that afternoon, people would be able to tell them apart.

2. When they'd boarded the train that would take them to their first year away from home, she'd purposely tried to loose her anxious sister in the crowd, wanting to have the chance to experience something on her own.

3. She'd encouraged her parent's favoritism of her over her sister because she feared her glory days were numbered. Sooner or later her mum and dad would discover they would only need to worry about one dowry, not two. And than it would be all about Parvati.

4. At the Yule Ball Ron had been a terrible date. When he hadn't been glaring at the floor he'd been stealing glances at Hermione. Padma had known this because she'd been as well.

5. After difficult tests she'd liked to ask people how they'd done just so she could brag about her own high marks.

6. The only reason she'd joined the D.A. was because she'd wanted to impress Hermione.

7. She'd missed Dumbledore's funeral rather than cross her parents, who'd insisted they leave at once and not wait around for anything, not even the Headmaster's funeral.

8. Just _thinking_ about telling her family that she 'didn't like boys' had scared her more than the prospect of dueling experienced Death Eaters. She'd had less anxiety about being killed than she'd had about being rejected.

9. Her favorite year of school had been her last year, when the Death Eater's took over and students were being brainwashed instead of taught, because that was the year that she and Parvati had stopped being strangers and had started being sisters again.

10. She'd lost her virginity in a frenzied state after her sister's wedding reception at four in the morning with a muggle from the groom's side (who she didn't even know the name of) because she'd wanted to believe maybe, just maybe, one day she could become the woman she was supposed to be. Because if she didn't there would never be a wedding or a party for her, filled with happy people celebrating how great love was.

When she let that man have sex with her her mind had been intoxicated by jealously and anger that such an act which could be so pleasurable for her sister was not for her.

And no amount of logic could save her from that.

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_A/N: Hey my lovely readers and reviewers, just leaving this note to let you know there is a poll on my profile page that has to do with this story. I have one free spot on my list for a Slytherin and I can't decide if I want to do Marcus Flint or Blaise Zibini, so I'm letting you decide for me. Just vote on my profile page at your convenience. I'll keep the poll up until June 1st._

_Anyway thanks for reading. I hope you liked Padma's list..._


	39. Ernie Macmillan

**10 Things Ernie Macmillan is Ashamed of**

1. Until the end of his fifth year, Cornelius Fudge had been his hero.

2. Leadership roles appealed to him mostly because other people annoyed him, and he wanted to make them more sensible. More like him.

3. He only fancied girls who were at least half-blood. As soon as he found out a girl he liked wasn't, he would suddenly loose interest. After nine generations of pureblood, he couldn't be the one who ruined it, if not for anything other than posterity.

4. He was more talk than action. When it had come time for him to write his name on the paper that would officially associate him with Dumbledore's Army he'd been hesitant. And if not for all the people watching him, he might not have ended up signing it.

5. In the back of this mind during the Battle of Hogwarts he'd kept thinking, '_if I survive this, it will definitely give me that extra edge I'll need to become Minister of Magic_'.

6. He'd almost hadn't gone back to Hogwarts to repeat his 7th year (proper schooling was necessary for the future leaders of tomorrow) because he hadn't been made Head Boy. Neville Longbottom had been (if only _he'd_ killed that bloody snake).

7. Susan sometimes drifted off when he talked to her, Zacharias had no manners, and Justin had to have too many things explained to him because he was muggle-born. But Hannah had been perfect, she'd hung onto his every word, gotten along well with others, and had come from a wizarding family almost as good as his. His friendship with Hannah had not been by chance; he'd decided to be her friend simply because she'd been the most qualified candidate, nothing more.

8. Much later on in his life, when he'd finally turned into the adult he'd always pretended to be, he looked back on this youth and wished he'd spent more of it as a kid.

9. When he'd asked Hannah to marry him she'd said 'no', but he hadn't heard her because he hadn't really waited for her to answer. He'd just assumed she'd say yes and had jumped into a lecture about 'The Next Step'. It wasn't before Hannah had interrupted him _three_ times that he'd become aware of the fact that she wasn't smiling and the ring was still in the box.

10. All he'd ever cared about were appearances. Was his hair respectable? Did his robes look smart? Did his business cards look both professional _and_ elegant? Most importantly, had he been invited to all the things he _should've _been invited to?

Ernie had never bothered to look beyond the surface of things. Maybe if he had he would've realized that Hannah had never been in love with him.

And maybe he would've realized he'd never been in love with her either.


	40. Lavender Brown

**10 Things Lavender Brown is Ashamed of**

1. When she was younger and had had the dormitory all to herself, she'd liked to use her pillow to practice snogging.

2. She judged her worth as a person according to what boys thought of her and what girls envied of her.

3. Less than 24 hours after having met her, she'd written Hermione off as a mousy bookworm far too beneath her on the social ladder to befriend. Though there were times she'd doubted her initial evaluation, she'd never attempted to revise it.

3. She'd snickered in egotistical euphoria at being the first Gryffindor girl in her year to get a date for the Yule Ball…until she'd found that Parvati had somehow snagged Harry, and Hermione, to all wonder and amazement, had attracted Viktor Krum. Her snide happiness had quickly been blown away, and Seamus (her own date) had looked duller than ever.

4. In fourth year when Fred and George had been developing trick sweets for their mail order joke business she'd offered to be a tester for their 'puking pastilles'. They'd readily agreed and had given her a handful, which she'd ended up dividing and using after particularly large dinners. Fred and George had been desperate to know, _had they worked_? Oh yes, they had, and could she please have some more?

5. She'd felt a dark delight at the way the Yule Ball had turned out for Parvati, first Harry had ignored her, and then the Beauxbatons boy she'd met had stood her up on their first date. As Lavender had comforted her, she'd felt pleased that she and Parvati were again of equal status: two pretty girls who were _both _alone.

6. When Ron had gotten tired of snogging she truly hadn't known what else to do with him.

8. She'd spent so many years of her life acting dumb, cute, and coy, that she found it difficult when it was called upon her to act intelligent, mature, and serious.

9. Deep down she'd never really believed in divination. She'd never seen any images in tea leaves, and when she looked at her palms all she'd seen were lines without motives. But she'd pretended like she'd seen all of it—believed in all of it—because it had given her the hope that all the chaos she felt was around her had contained a purpose.

10. Her appearance had been the one aspect of her life that she'd felt she'd dominated. If all else failed, school or career-wise, she'd had faith that her prettiness would always be there to validate her. For she'd spent her whole life being pretty, from baby to child to teen. One day she hoped to become _beautiful_.

But the night Greyback attacked her everything changed. Now when she undressed she saw an invasion of grotesque scars—dark and raised—across her torso, across her _breasts_. Her once smooth porcelain skin permanently marred. Sometimes she wished Hermione hadn't saved her. Sometimes she wished she'd just died.

That night she'd sacrificed her beauty for her beliefs.

And sometimes she wished she hadn't.


	41. Percy Weasley

**10 Things Percy Weasley is Ashamed of**

1. He remembers when he stopped calling his parents 'mummy' and 'daddy', prematurely switching to 'mother' and 'father' at the age of nine. Sometimes he wishes he could call them 'mummy' and 'daddy' again. But he doesn't want to look like a fool.

2. He'd been written off as 'just another Weasley' before he'd made it halfway to the Gryffindor table his first year and within twenty-four hours intimate aspects of his home-life had been insulted by people who he'd never even met. He'd been told that he came from the worst stock imaginable: purebloods that'd fallen, into poverty, into bad jokes. He'd been angry with his parents for not telling him what they were, what he _was_. From that day on he'd swore to himself that he wouldn't become 'just another Weasley.'

Maybe he wouldn't even bother being a 'Weasley' at all.

3. He'd kept his relationship with Penelope private from his family because he hadn't wanted them to contaminate it with their homemade clothes and unrestrained casual joviality. He'd been determined that he and Penelope would be crystal and caviar people, no exceptions.

4. So eager and so ready he'd been to ascend the rank of importance at the Ministry that he hadn't been concerned with Mr. Crouch's well-being and he'd gladly ignored his boss's deteriorating condition knowing full well that would put him in a prime position for promotion.

5. After he'd slammed the door of his new London flat in his mother's face he'd waited to hear the sound of her sobbing before turning away.

6. When his father had been wavering in the grey zone between life and death Percy had not been at his bedside, he'd not even offered so much as a card. He'd been in his office at the Ministry, rocking back and forth in his chair, editing reports, and wondering if he'd finally crossed the line in punishing his family, and whether or not he could ever go back.

7. Penelope had left him a few days before Christmas Eve after a fight had erupted when Percy had received his annual Christmas jumper from his mum. He'd immediately scoffed and insulted it before starting to return it. The last thing Penelope had said to him before exiting his life forever was: "_If your own family isn't good enough for you, than why am I?_"

8. At family gatherings he is always careful to keep a certain distance from George. It is apparent to Percy that his brother is suffering but he doesn't want to hear the details of the pain. He is afraid to confront the bitter depression echoing in George's eyes. So instead of giving George attention, he gives him exaggerated smiles from across the room.

9. Aside from his parents and the healers who'd delivered him, no one had truly seen him naked until Audrey had come along, inconspicuous and pleasant. Before he'd known it (and without asking) she'd looked upon his naked adult body in the daylight, unobstructed by clothes, blankets, or shadows.

(Even though he loves her) he still resents her for that moment.

10. It had been Fred, not his parents, not Charlie not Bill, but Fred, the brother he'd always hated the most, to be the first to greet him as he ran to find some sort of salvation among the crossfire of curses and the rumble of rubble that surrounded him as his world fell. He'd feared Fred would reject him, no matter what he said... But before he knew it he'd been alongside his brother, sharing a camaraderie he'd always yearned for…then before he knew it, it was gone, and so was Fred.

And the only thing that remained with Percy was the cold black fact that for so much of his life he'd wished ill of the crumpled boy beside him.

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A/N: sorry for the long wait guys, but sometimes real life gets in the way, don't you know?


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